Connor; pron (Con-ner); amazing, empathetic, smart, funny, caring, confident... simply the best!

We knew there was something extra special about Connor from the moment he was placed in our arms. He has truly been the most pleasant little boy. So many people comment on how strong Connor's sense-of-self is and how friendly and happy he is. Connor will befriend anyone remotely near his size. He loves to make friends and play.

I remember a few years back, I took Connor to the Eagle's Nest indoor playground. Connor was having a fun time and I saw a young boy, about 10 years old, who appeared to have Autism. As a parent of a child with Autism, I can pick up on it very quickly. Most of the children in the play area avoided this young boy. They could tell something was off and simply didn't give him the time of day. Connor started talking to the boy and asked him to play. They crawled through the play set, climbed the rock wall and Connor let the boy hold his hand. It blew me away. Connor didn't give a rip that this young boy was different. He saws the boy for who he was, a happy young person who wanted a playmate. And Connor took him up on it. I was so proud of Connor quickly was reassured I had one amazing four-year-old for a son.

Connor does get frustrated with Cole's Autism. A few years ago, the boys loved playing Marble Works. It's a game where you build a contraption out of ramps, etc. and the marbles work their way down. We spent a lot of time building the ramps just the way the box displayed. Cole and Connor took turns putting the marbles down the tracks. A few minutes into this, Cole abruptly tore everything apart and threw the pieces all over the room. Connor was heart-broken. I'll never forget the words that came out of his mouth.. "Mommy, I don't like the days when Cole has Autism". 

I could write a book about all of the concessions Connor has to make: wearing certain clothes, getting off the computer when he just sat down, ending playdates early, leaving parties, taking rides in the truck when we are at our witts end, playing outside when he it is 7 degrees and sleeting, and so on. We all make concessions in our lives, but Connor makes them at a pace of 100 to our 1. I think it's healthy to make kids compromise and share. Connor has to do it as a way of life. There is not one hour that passes at our household when Connor is not asked to make a concession of some degree. We try very hard to reason with Cole, but his brain is not wired to comprehend it. The result often ends up with us dropping what we're doing so Cole does not have a fit. It's not fair, but many times it is life.

Despite all of the turmoil that comes with having an Autistic brother, Connor takes it all in stride, and then some. Never once in his life has he ever said anything mean about Cole. At his tender age, he can sense when he needs to step up and play the big brother to Cole. It's evident he watches Pat and I closely to learn how we deal with Cole. Sometimes I think Connor does a better job with Cole then we do. Cole ADORES Connor. When Connor asks something of Cole, the success rate must be at least 90%. I wish there could have been a video camera in our home last night. Cole was having a good evening. We were into our nightly routine and things were going well. For some reason, Connor took it upon himself to "care" for Cole. He sat on the toilet while Cole was in the tub. I was in our bedroom and took every chance I could to peek in and listen. Again, I was blown away. Connor used his gentle, sensitive tone of voice and kindly asked Cole to stop splashing. And Cole stopped. He then asked, "Cole, do you want Connor to help you wash your body, buddy?" Cole stood up and excitedly said, "YES!". Connor grabbed the soap and proceed to help Cole wash himself. Typically this is a challenge. Cole would much rather play then get his hair and body washed. He then kept reinforcing Cole's good behavior by constantly saying things like, "Great job in the tub Cole. Way to listen!! You're doing a good job tonight Cole. I like the picture you drew Cole- great job!" This went on all night and I'm not exaggerating, nor did I ask one thing of Connor. He did this all on his own. 

I took Connor's face in my hands, gave him tons of kisses and told him many times how proud I was of him and that he was by far, the BEST brother in the world. I wish I could put this into words. There are so many example I would love to share with you. Connor deserves the recognition. I don't know what we would do without Connor in our lives. He is my therapy. I have no doubt that he was hand-picked for our family. I'm fully convinced there is not one other 5-3/4 year old who could live in Connor's shoes and do it with such pride, confidence and happiness. He teaches me so much about life and about myself. Pat and I are constantly looking at each other with a "can you believe him" expression. The joy and positive attitude he brings to our family often keeps us going. He's our little rock star, in more than one sense of the word.

If you have heard the expression, 'pay it forward', I know Connor's life will be filled with countless blessings. Even though it's the last thing he would expect in return.