I invite you to join me in spreading awareness about this mysterious disability. My hope is for you to pause a moment before making judgement on a parent or child. If you see a child acting in a non-neurotypical manner, please resist the urge to make judgements or assumptions and instead pause to consider it might be a family struggling with the numerous challenges of Autism.
This disability can be very daunting, humiliating, puzzling, frustrating, exhausting and sad. But it can also be rewarding, amazing, insightful, comical, empowering and joyful. I heard a great quote today from a girl on the Ellen Show, who has overcome many tragedies in her life... "There are tough things that happen in life. You don't always have a choice in many of them, but you do have a choice as to how you react and grow from them." You're right, if we could turn back the hands of time and change something so Cole would not have Autism, of coarse we would. But that's not possible. What is possible is the fact that anything is possible. Every day Cole does things that we never thought he would. Today he was trying to tie his shoes and learning about appropriate ways to show affection and who he can show affection to. Last week, it was learning to use hand brakes on his new bike. In a few years, maybe it will be making change for a dollar or reading a chapter book. Who knows....
We stay focused on the many blessings Autism has brought to our lives and doing everything in our power to make Cole's life the best and happiest it can be. And he IS happy.
Today during my visit to him at school, his therapist told me he is "the social butterfly" of the school. Cole knows everyone, and everyone knows Cole. He greets everyone he sees and has a nickname for each person. Usually he drops the first letter of their name, so Connor is "onnor" and cousin Cooper is "ooper". he he he. I just had a conversation with my Dad about this a few days ago. He was so proud of how Cole was able to attach the tractor trailer to his lawn tractor, mow the lawn and then back it up into the tight parking spot by the shed. My Dad wasn't home to see Cole put the tractor away and when he got home, he thought someone helped Cole put everything back in it's place. But no, Cole had done everything all by himself (park the trailer/tractor, put the key in the right place and lock up the shed)! Cole is so darn cute on that tractor. He wears his headphones for protection and gives us a huge smile and a big thumbs up. My Dad and I both agree that Cole is finding so many things he enjoys in life and he truly is a happy, happy kid. He is passionate about his interests and the people he loves. My are we blessed.
It doesn't help that Cole has the most incredible, loving and compassionate brother in the world. And honestly, that's an understatement. Connor is so proud of his brother. He's protective of him and at such a young age, already has concern for Cole's future. In fact Connor just told me a few days ago that he's going to live within one hour of Cole when they grow up, "so I can spend time with him and sleep in his bed with him one night every week."
I have one more story about Connor that I have to share. Last Friday, Cole earned a day at home from therapy due to good behavior. Connor had school that day, so it was just Cole and I at home. While Connor was getting ready for school in the morning, I asked Connor if he would like for Cole and I to come and have lunch with him at school. Connor was so excited in his response and immediately said, "YES!!!". I reminded Connor that Cole might have a hard time in the chaos and could act silly or inappropriate. I then asked Connor again if he wanted us to visit. His response: "Mom, he's my brother and I love him. I WANT him to come to see me at lunch. Can I ask him myself, please!?" So I let Connor ask Cole, hoping Cole would say yes. But he didn't. Cole takes everything so literal and when he earned a day off from school, there was no way he was stepping one foot into any school. Connor was disappointed and made me promise to keep asking Cole all morning. Sadly, Cole didn't agree. Maybe next time.
We've done some fun stuff this winter. In January Pat and I took Connor to Orlando, FL for a gymnastics meet and mini-vacation. It was Connor's first time in an airplane, so he was really excited! Connor did well at his meet and then we had a three days to spend at the parks. The three of us had so much fun. Pat and Connor went on tons of rides together and there were very few lines. The weather was perfect, so we got to swim and hang out at the pool as well. Connor's favorite park was Epcot. He loved seeing all of the different countries. We went there twice! While at Universal, we had to get our picture taken with the characters from Monster's Inc, one of Cole's favorite movies.
Pat and I took our eighth trip to Ixtapa, Mexico in February. We rented a wonderful condo right on the beach. It was such a nice week. We ate at fantastic restaurants, read books by the pool and walked the beach every day. We even ran the beach five of the mornings we were there and I took a 2+ hour walk with a group of people down to the marina to see the alligators. Pat went deep sea fishing. He lucked out and caught a huge sailfish. It was over 8' tall! We are incredibly fortunate to have this quality time together and to have family and friends who generously help out while we're gone.
The first night of our trip was a little stressful, actually quite stressful. It's a long story, but when we called home to see how the boys were, my parents said Cole was in a lot of pain from getting his finger nail slammed in something. Cole would not say what happened and none of the people who were caring for him that day saw what happened. We called again later in the evening and the situation had gotten worse. Cole's fingernail was completely black and it was red and swollen. We could hear him wincing in pain in the background. My parents were doing everything they could think of to help Cole. (he refuses to take medicine). Cole let them ice his finger and elevate it. And Connor lovingly convinced Cole to pout a Band-Aid on it. Cole NEVER wears Band-Aids!!
Nothing was helping and Cole was in a lot of pain. He kept crying and saying, "It's burning. My finger is broken." It was heart-wrenching for all of us. This went on for a few hours and finally my dad decided to take Cole to the ER. Only Cole refused to go. So my dad called a local police man who is also a close friend. The police officer came over at midnight and tried to calm Cole and look at his finger. He tried to convince Cole to take a fun ride in the police car, but Cole refused again. In the meantime, my mom called the nurse's line and they said if more than 1/2 the nail is black, he should be seen by a doctor.
The police officer suggested to have the EMTs come look at Cole's finger. There is no charge for an ambulance to come to the house. So that's what they did. At 12:30 at night, the ambulance shows up and checks out Cole's finger. They told my parents it wasn't broke and there was not much that could be done. It didn't help with the pain, but at least we knew it wasn't broken. That night, it took Cole a long time to fall asleep and he woke up several times throughout the night in pain. The next morning, he slept in and didn't leave for school until 10am. He woke up and said, "my finger is all better!". And it pretty much was. He ended up losing his finger nail, but took it really well. He's so brave.
We also had a successful trip to the dentist. For the first time ever, the hygientist was able to do 75% of a full cleaning on Cole's teeth! Cole actually cooperated and willingly went into the velcroe blanket. It took two people to do the cleaning and by the end Cole was frantically and aggressively getting out of the blanket, but it was a success. He thought the cleaning tool was like a zamboni on his teeth! Check out the video...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QpbtAN-J08&feature=youtu.be
There is so much more I could update but instead I'll post again soon! Please remember April is Autism Awareness Month. Like I said before, please find it in your heart to have more compassion and understanding for these wonderful people. They love life just like we do and want many of the same things, it just doesn't come as easy for them.
