Rollercoaster Ride

  I don't like roller coasters, never have. Maybe it's an interesting metaphor for me- considering I feel like I'm always on one. It's the perfect way to describe our life with Cole. Climbing the ascent, free falling, whipping around a curve, upside down, holding on for dear life, scared, excited... you know the feelings. The tide can change so quickly in our house, at the drop of at hat. You never know what's coming next. Yes, it is a roller coaster ride.

Taking off, the exhilarating part...

Cole did really well with the transition to his new room. He has woken up every day since he got home asking if he still has his new floors. He loves the rug in his room, the wall padding and his new bedspread. I was nervous that he would be upset having been away from home for six days. Cole did really well when he came home. He was SO excited to see Connor. They have been attached at the hip ever since. They have literally been singing, dancing, and racing cars for days. 

I also got some really good feedback from the MN Autism Center (MAC) , where Cole just completed his first week of intensive ABA Therapy. He did really well. It's very intense, for Cole and our family. But it's going to be worth it. The therapists say Cole is doing great and adjusting well to the expectations placed on him. I had a discussion with the lead therapist about a plan to stop Cole's physically aggressive behaviors. I will go in early this week to get trained on the plan. We will more than likely need to keep Cole at MAC and/or home for a good 2-3 weeks until the behaviors end. During this time, MAC will send therapists to our home to oversee how well we implement the plan and offer assistance. These training sessions, etc. are mandatory and come up without warning. What a blessing that I am at home and able to hold up our end of this deal. 

I was enthused when the lead therapist told me that in his 14 years of doing this therapy, he has never seen a child with as much potential as Cole. He strongly feels that when we eliminate the aggressive behaviors and non-compliance issues, Cole's language and cognitive skills will soar. There is no guarantee, but we'll take any progress we can get! 

Hold on, we're coming into a curve...

On Saturday we attended a going away party for Pat's sister, Katie. She leaves Thursday to study for six months in the Netherlands. Friends and family gathered to wish her well. Cole had fun at the party, for a while. He danced, sang and played with his cousins. Slowly Cole's patience worn thin. Right as the party was getting into full swing, Cole reached his breaking point. He was mad, physically aggressive and constantly leaving the party area. We had no choice but to leave. Connor was heart broken. He was having a wonderful time with his cousins and the last thing he wanted to do was go home. We tried to have Connor hide, so we could leave with Cole and let Connor ride home with his Uncle. Cole got half way up the stairs and yelled for Connor. We knew it wouldn't work. Pat brought Cole to the truck and I went back to get Connor. It was so sad. Connor ran to me with tears in his eyes. I felt so bad for him. Autism just isn't fair. 

I got Connor to the truck and Cole was beside himself. We passed his breaking point and now it was tantrum time. Cole was smashing his head into the window, yelling, crying, kicking, etc. Connor was still crying and that made Cole even more mad. I had to sit in between the two kids to keep them both safe and safe for Pat to drive. The fits went on for ten minutes until we got the the Dairy Queen. Cole was happy with his purple (chocolate) cone and Connor got a root beer float. It's hard to put into words the intensity of the situation, but we were all in fright or flight mode. Thank God for DQ. It's times like this when we can't help but feel envious of people with all neuro-typical children. They have such freedom. We, on the other hand, are constantly at Cole's mercy. 

Only a few bumps....

Today went ok. We all played outside and even had a winter bonfire. Check out the pictures!! The hard thing again, was Cole not wanting to be one step away from Connor. Cole dictated everything they did. Cole was aggressive with us today. I was punched, pinched, scratched and kicked countless times- many times without knowing it was coming. It gets old and it's just not fair. We are anxious to hear what plan MAC has to stop this behavior. It would be a miracle in our eyes. 

*Please say a prayer for Wendy Fandre. I've known Wendy for almost 20 years. I played sports against her in high school. After that, we always worked out at the same health club and knew one another through mutual friends. Wendy, a 35 year old mother of two, had a massive heart attack last Monday. She had a pre-existing heart condition. Wendy was without oxygen for an extended period of time and as a result she has major brain damage. Doctors have told Wendy's family there is no chance she will ever recover. Today her family removed life support. Wendy is breathing on her own, but that is all her body is capable of. We don't know what the future holds, please keep her family in your prayers. caringbridge.org  wendy fandre  I've put her picture on my blog. 

Sadly, it is things like this that make you realize you have nothing to complain about. I may not always have it easy, but I am here. I love my life, my husband, kids and family. I cherish each day I get with them and I know that anything I get to do with them, good or bad, fun or not-so-fun... is a gift.