Lost and found- twice in one week!

When people hear me say that Cole is child you can not take your eyes off of, I'm not sure if they understand just how true that statement is. It is far from an exaggeration.

I found out the hard way last week. Pat was at a work dinner and the boys and I were playing outside after supper. We were having a fun time in the yard when I heard the phone ring. I ran into the house to see who was calling. I saw on the caller ID that it was a call I didn't have to take, so I let the answering machine kick in. I looked out the window to make sure Cole was on the swing set where I left him. He was not there. I went outside and did a walk around the house, calling his name (not that he would answer!). I asked Connor if he had seen Cole and he told me Cole went around to the front. I walked into the garage and saw that Cole's green bike was gone. 

I immediately ran back to get Connor and told him to run and get on his bike with me. We pedaled as fast as we could toward the park near our house. It's just up the street about 1/4 mile. Almost every night, Cole hops on his bike and races toward the park. He likes to go ahead of us and make us chase him. As I was biking, I didn't see Cole's bike parked by the park like it usually is. Panic set in. 

As I approached the park, I could see the swing moving but Cole was not in sight. That told me Cole was there just before me. Connor and I kept biking to the cul-du-sac just past the park. Cole likes to ride in there and race back to the park. As we got there, Cole was no where to be found. Now the adrenaline rush kicked in. I was running out of options. 

We raced back home to see if somehow we missed Cole. I did not see his bike or his shoes inside the house. I ran around the house again and there was still no sign of Cole. I told Connor to stay at home and keep Cole here if he were to come back. I called our neighbor and told them I couldn't find Cole. One got in her car and the other started biking toward the fountain in our neighborhood- about 1/2 mile down into our development. I went the other direction and rode back to the park. I was shaking, mad, scared and desperate. It just takes once and I know how these scenarios sometimes turn out. 

Fortunately as the park came into view, I saw Cole swinging happily and giggling as I approached him. I honestly have no idea how I missed him. There is one more cul-du-sac near the park and I'm thinking he may have gone into that one while we were searching other places. We'll never know. Thank God it turned out well. I was nearly sick to my stomach. Cole was out of my sight for maybe 20 seconds and I ended up losing him for 4-6 minutes. 

Something similar happened to Pat over the weekend. He took Cole biking at Centerville park. It has a nice paved path with some fun dirt trails that veer off into the woods. The last time we were there, Pat and Cole ventured onto one of the dirt paths. It was a small hill that lead into the woods. They took turns riding up the hill and racing back down. They didn't bother to go far into the woods. Last weekend, Pat and Cole were riding and they came to the same dirt trail. They again took turns going up and down the hill. Pat went first and sat waiting for Cole. After about 15-20 seconds, Cole was not coming. Pat hurried up the trail and Cole was no where in sight. Again, panic set in. Pat raced into the woods on the trail, which had several options to turn off of. Pat stuck to the main trail and after a few minutes, he heard Cole. He was out of Pat's sight, biking in the woods for 2-3 minutes. Thank God Pat was able to find him and that Cole did not go off the main dirt path. The alternative is much to scary to think about. 

When people say "it can happen like that", it really can. Especially with kids with Autism. They seldom respond to their name and they are curious. They don't understand what danger is or why you tell them to stay by you. Furthermore, they don't have the communication skills or presence of mind to tell their guardian what they want to do or where they want to go. They just do it. 

Cole is eight years old and we can not take our eyes off him. We try our VERY best but we are human. Phone calls happen, we make assumptions on what Cole will do based on his past behavior, we listen sometimes instead of look. This week was a scary reminder of just how quickly Cole can escape. It just takes a second. We have a GPS child locator on order and it can't get here soon enough. Another "set of eyes" will be so helpful. 

I uploaded a few pictures from this week. In one, you can see how well Cole does watching the baseball when he's hitting. He was two for two this week! The other is of Connor at a birthday party he went to. It was so fun. The RAD Zoo was there with all kinds of animals. In this picture, the kids are holding a python snake!! The family was so gracious to invite Cole. Cole opted to go bike riding with Pat instead. I'm happy they thought to include Cole, as that doesn't always happen.

We are looking forward to this coming weekend. Cole will be at the respite house while Pat, Connor and I head up the Arrowhead to camp, fish, canoe and stay at a resort for a few days. We are really looking forward to it! It's a slightly belated 12th anniversary present to ourselves. Considering 90% of parents with Autistic children get divorced, I think 12 years warrants some serious celebration. My husband is amazing and I wouldn't give him up for anything. 

Parade season

We survived the first parade of the season. This past week was Tower Days in Spring Lake Park. My parents are still residents and the parade route nearly goes right by their house. The weather was absolutely perfect, so I took the boys to the parade. We all met at my parents before and Grandpa Denny did the usual. He hooked up the trailer to his John Deere and loaded it up with grandkids, lawn chairs and blankets. The kids love this part, I think it's the best part of the parade. What better way to show up to a parade than to be escorted by your Grandpa driving a cool John Deere tractor. 

We lucked out and found a great spot real close to the road. Cole did quite well. He was a little impatient at first, but then he saw the long line of fire engines start up the street. They blared their sirens and sounded their horns. This caught Cole's attention. It was loud for all of us. I wasn't sure how Cole would react. He did great. He covered his ears and took a close look at all the shiny trucks. The parade continued on. It didn't take long for Cole to tell me, "Mom, go home in 10 minutes." (That's his new thing... to tell us how long he's going to do something... 20 more minutes mom, if we're at the park and 3 minutes mom, if we're eating supper). I told Cole we would go home after the parade and tried to ignore his anxiousness. 

Cole found ways to cope. If he wasn't in the mood to sit by the crowds or look at the floats, he would simply go check out the fire hydrant or play on Grandpa's tractor. It worked great. We would constantly check on him and call his name when we knew there was something of interest to him. I was so proud at his ability to self regulate himself, without direction. Cole knew when it was getting to be too much for him and he knew what to do about it. He didn't get mad or throw a fit. Instead, he played on the tractor or came to snuggle up with me on the chair. I was so proud of him. 

I was also proud when he took it upon himself to join the kids and get some candy for himself. He even sat down on the pavement to catch a glimpse of the band. When we looked at our watches, it was 8:10 and we had been there for over an hour. We decided to pack up and leave and beat the rush. Cole and Grandpa drove the tractor back. Soon after, the boys and I left for home. It went just great. Connor had an awesome time and got a lot of attention for the cool green mohawk he was sporting that night. He was especially excited to see his Jam Hops gymnastics friends in the parade... that was super cool! 

I thought it was super cool that we were able to see the parade and enjoy ourselves. In the past, Cole has not allowed that to happen. It's not his fault, it's simply that some things are just too hard for him. Think of how much sound and stimulation there is at a parade. Not the best and most appropriate place for a child with Autism. 

Once again, Cole impresses us with his ability. He is improving with every single day. I could not ask for anything more. Life is good. In fact, life is great. My two boys are amazing and they fill my heart with so much joy and love. I'm just plain lucky. 

On a side note, I have to share something Cole said to me this week. He has been cutting the grass quite a bit for us. Well there is an open area of long, tall grass about a mile from our house. We drive by it nearly every day. Cole was in the truck with me on Thursday and said, "Mom I want to cut that grass." I said, "Cole, that grass isn't ours. You can cut our grass." Cole replied, "I would really LOVE to cut that tall grass Mom."  

And to think I was wondering if he would ever be able to say "want juice". 

PROGRESS... my favorite word in the English language

Over the past five years, Pat and I have always said that life with Cole is going one of two ways... we are either on a good wave or a rough wave. For the past four to six weeks, we've been on a good wave. Things have actually been quite good for longer than that, but spring has really made life a little easier in our often chaotic household.

The best thing for me has been the countless people who are commenting on Cole's progress. AKA, may favorite word of all time. You know how life is, you see certain people nearly every day and sometimes it's hard to see the change in people. Before you know it, you are getting wrinkles, your hair has more gray and your kids are outgrowing their shoes in three months time. After the hybernation of winter is over, I'm always amazed to see the kids in the neighborhood out playing. They grew a few inches, have a whole new set of tricks to show off and have gained a ton of knowledge. I've always said, "There is nothing more consistent than change."

With Cole it's different. Pat and I are constantly noticing the progress he makes. We talk about it several times a day. With our families, Cole is often the topic of conversation. It seems everyone wants to share the positive interaction or experience they've experienced with Cole. I think our entire family feels a lot of gratitude when they witness Cole's progress and his new capabilities. We all take pride in it and want to share the wonderful news. 

It's especially fun when people who don't see Cole as often comment on how well he is doing. We had neighbors over this past weekend. They were so impressed with Cole's improved speech and his new social skills. We also have a PCA who works with Cole once a month. Cole saw her on Saturday and she herself commented on how well he is doing and the progress he's made in the past month. Another PCA felt compelled to call me to tell me what a wonderful job Cole did at the Mall of America recently. The two of them met a former Fraser Academy friend of Cole's and his PCA at the mall. Our PCA was so proud of Cole for playing so well and for acting and talking so appropriately with his friend. Even the transportation drivers comment on how well Cole is doing. 

It is incredibly rewarding to see the progress ourselves and for others to notice it as well. As Cole's mom, I know how incredibly hard he works. I know first hand how much more difficult things are for Cole, things that most kids pick up automatically. Pat and I have no set goals or expectations for Cole. Our goal is to love him like crazy, turn over every stone while we're on this journey and treat him like he can achieve anything. We want to look back and know we did all we could for our guy. I think this attitude helps us really appreciate the progress Cole makes. Instead of being let down, we are constantly impressed and amazed by him. The future is unknown, but I do know it is BRIGHT. 

I wanted to share some pictures of Cole and his cousins. We took the four boys to a park and let them ride their scooters down a grassy hill. They had SO much fun!! They took turns riding down the hill and scooting all around the paths. They even peed in the woods together, just like boys should! I love the picture of the boys on the bench. Cole loves his cousins and you can tell from the smile on his face that he was one happy boy that afternoon. 

There is also a picture of Cole helping me make breakfast. He made the scrambled eggs almost completely by himself! He got all the ingredients and cracked the eggs (perfectly) by himself. He stirred them and added the salt, pepper and cheese. Who would have thought!?!?!?

I also posted a short video of Cole driving our lawn tractor in the backyard. This is proof of his progress right here. Cole has so many skills and so much to offer. Just look at my boy.

One a side note, please say prayers for my close friend and former job-share partner, Karla Rapp and her father, Kent Gerzema. They found out some sad and frightening news on Saturday. Kent was diagnosed with brain cancer and a tumor on his lung. They are an amazing family who could really use our support and prayers right now.