When people hear me say that Cole is child you can not take your eyes off of, I'm not sure if they understand just how true that statement is. It is far from an exaggeration.
I found out the hard way last week. Pat was at a work dinner and the boys and I were playing outside after supper. We were having a fun time in the yard when I heard the phone ring. I ran into the house to see who was calling. I saw on the caller ID that it was a call I didn't have to take, so I let the answering machine kick in. I looked out the window to make sure Cole was on the swing set where I left him. He was not there. I went outside and did a walk around the house, calling his name (not that he would answer!). I asked Connor if he had seen Cole and he told me Cole went around to the front. I walked into the garage and saw that Cole's green bike was gone.
I immediately ran back to get Connor and told him to run and get on his bike with me. We pedaled as fast as we could toward the park near our house. It's just up the street about 1/4 mile. Almost every night, Cole hops on his bike and races toward the park. He likes to go ahead of us and make us chase him. As I was biking, I didn't see Cole's bike parked by the park like it usually is. Panic set in.
As I approached the park, I could see the swing moving but Cole was not in sight. That told me Cole was there just before me. Connor and I kept biking to the cul-du-sac just past the park. Cole likes to ride in there and race back to the park. As we got there, Cole was no where to be found. Now the adrenaline rush kicked in. I was running out of options.
We raced back home to see if somehow we missed Cole. I did not see his bike or his shoes inside the house. I ran around the house again and there was still no sign of Cole. I told Connor to stay at home and keep Cole here if he were to come back. I called our neighbor and told them I couldn't find Cole. One got in her car and the other started biking toward the fountain in our neighborhood- about 1/2 mile down into our development. I went the other direction and rode back to the park. I was shaking, mad, scared and desperate. It just takes once and I know how these scenarios sometimes turn out.
Fortunately as the park came into view, I saw Cole swinging happily and giggling as I approached him. I honestly have no idea how I missed him. There is one more cul-du-sac near the park and I'm thinking he may have gone into that one while we were searching other places. We'll never know. Thank God it turned out well. I was nearly sick to my stomach. Cole was out of my sight for maybe 20 seconds and I ended up losing him for 4-6 minutes.
Something similar happened to Pat over the weekend. He took Cole biking at Centerville park. It has a nice paved path with some fun dirt trails that veer off into the woods. The last time we were there, Pat and Cole ventured onto one of the dirt paths. It was a small hill that lead into the woods. They took turns riding up the hill and racing back down. They didn't bother to go far into the woods. Last weekend, Pat and Cole were riding and they came to the same dirt trail. They again took turns going up and down the hill. Pat went first and sat waiting for Cole. After about 15-20 seconds, Cole was not coming. Pat hurried up the trail and Cole was no where in sight. Again, panic set in. Pat raced into the woods on the trail, which had several options to turn off of. Pat stuck to the main trail and after a few minutes, he heard Cole. He was out of Pat's sight, biking in the woods for 2-3 minutes. Thank God Pat was able to find him and that Cole did not go off the main dirt path. The alternative is much to scary to think about.
When people say "it can happen like that", it really can. Especially with kids with Autism. They seldom respond to their name and they are curious. They don't understand what danger is or why you tell them to stay by you. Furthermore, they don't have the communication skills or presence of mind to tell their guardian what they want to do or where they want to go. They just do it.
Cole is eight years old and we can not take our eyes off him. We try our VERY best but we are human. Phone calls happen, we make assumptions on what Cole will do based on his past behavior, we listen sometimes instead of look. This week was a scary reminder of just how quickly Cole can escape. It just takes a second. We have a GPS child locator on order and it can't get here soon enough. Another "set of eyes" will be so helpful.
I uploaded a few pictures from this week. In one, you can see how well Cole does watching the baseball when he's hitting. He was two for two this week! The other is of Connor at a birthday party he went to. It was so fun. The RAD Zoo was there with all kinds of animals. In this picture, the kids are holding a python snake!! The family was so gracious to invite Cole. Cole opted to go bike riding with Pat instead. I'm happy they thought to include Cole, as that doesn't always happen.
We are looking forward to this coming weekend. Cole will be at the respite house while Pat, Connor and I head up the Arrowhead to camp, fish, canoe and stay at a resort for a few days. We are really looking forward to it! It's a slightly belated 12th anniversary present to ourselves. Considering 90% of parents with Autistic children get divorced, I think 12 years warrants some serious celebration. My husband is amazing and I wouldn't give him up for anything.
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