I hope you have all enjoyed the beautiful weather over the past week. Cole has been in heaven! To say he likes to ride his bike and scooter is an understatement. Each day this past week, he has stepped off the transportation van and ran to the garage for his bike. It has been so pleasant to spend time with Cole outside. He is so much more content and happy. The boys ride their bikes everywhere they can, even on the hill in our backyard. Cole especially likes this because he can go even faster on the hill! We've noticed that Cole exhibits fewer aggressive behaviors when he can play outside. That is a definite plus. Cole is such a good bike rider. He taught himself when he was three and he's been off to the races ever since.
I had a wonderful family training session with Cole at MAC this week. It was my third session with Cole and his lead therapist. It is amazing how well Cole behaves for me when he is there. I can easily get him to transition from activity to activity. I can also interrupt what he is doing and ask him to modify his task, without resistance. I've been interrupting his play activities and asking him to read books. He resists at first but then cooperates. His reading skills are really improving!!! Cole did a great job at telling me he wanted to go for a walk in the woods while I was there. MAC has beautiful grounds, full of trees and paths. The three of us had a fun time walking around, looking for deer and other animals. I had so much fun and I'm learning a lot about how we need to change things at home. We have no doubt that placing Cole at MAC was the right decision. He is making so much progress and he works so hard when he's there. We could not be any more proud of him.
One challenge that we have been dealing with is the clothing Cole wants to wear. All winter long, Cole would let me choose his shirts. He didn't seem to care or have a preference for specific clothing items. Not any more. His jeans need to be dark blue Gap jeans, with the slide clasp and without holes worn in the knees. Thank God I purchased several pair while they were on clearance last spring. T-shirts have become quite the issue of concern. Cole is only willing to wear two different shirts. If it were up to him, he would wear his red, "I'm that good" t-shirt every single day... and he tries to! I have to get his shirt wet before he gets up so he thinks I'm washing it. Most mornings, I have to show him six or seven different shirts before he'll finally give in and wear one that he didn't have in mind. And then he'll say "I'll wear the red shirt on Friday". He will sometimes try to sleep in the clothes he wore the night before. We'll get him out of the bath and put him in his PJs. A few minutes later, we'll hear him digging through his clothes bin to put on the red shirt. He's so smart!
Cole also doesn't like that I cut my long hair. Cole loves mommy's neck. Whenever I was around him, he asked me to put my hair in a rubber band so he could have access to my neck. A few weeks back, I got my hair cut above my shoulders and I no longer can pull it back. This hasn't gone over well with Cole. I've nearly lost my snuggle buddy. He asked me to get my old hair back. Thankfully I've managed to pin my hair back so he thinks it's pulled off my neck. At last, he's willing to snuggle again. It was quite the different reaction compared to Connor who graciously told me, "Mommy, your hair is SOOOO pretty!"
Cole went to the respite house for the fourth time yesterday. His sense of timing absolutely blew us away. Cole had gone to the respite house the past three times on a Wednesday. When he got back from the house in March he said, "Cole is all done at respite in March. Go to respite in April." I told him that next time he would go to the respite house on a Saturday. That was all I said about it, and that was a month ago.
Fast forward to last Sunday. Cole started talking about the respite house. He said he didn't want to go and he even looked at himself in the mirror and started to cry. "No respite on Saturday. Want to live at this house." We tried to re-direct his attention and not confirm what was going to happen. We could not believe that he knew it was time for respite and that he remembered about going on a Saturday. Throughout the week, Cole had anxiety about going to the house. Saturday came around and the plan was for his PCA, Tiffany, to hang out with Cole for a few hours and then drop him off at the house. I made a picture schedule for Cole which showed what was going to happen each day and when he would come home.
Cole was so excited to see Tiffany. He didn't want to wait, so I took him to Cub beforehand. I had the picture schedule in my front seat and he saw it. He asked to see it, so I gave it to him. I didn't know how he would react. I was nervous he would see what was going to happen and refuse to go with Tiffany. Instead, he read every part and concentrated really hard. He looked at me and happily said, "Tiffany will say Goodbye Cole!" He then started saying things like "Cole will come home on Wednesday. Kelly from respite will take me to swimming. I'll see Grandpa and Tiffany on Thursday." Cole was perfectly happy and content. I realized he just needed to know what was going to happen. I honestly think he was wondering if we were going to leave him there for good. Cole has had such positive experiences at the house so I should have known he didn't mind going. It was the fact that since he was now arriving on a Saturday, he didn't know when/if he would come home, etc. I should have made the schedule last week. Live and learn Mommy- next time I'll be prepared. Poor Cole... think of how scary that must have been for him. Not knowing what is going to happen and if or when you're coming home again. Here we were trying to avoid the subject and hopefully the anxiety, but instead our avoidance was making Cole's anxiety worse.
Tiffany called us at 5:01pm last night, one minute after she dropped Cole off. She said Cole walked right up to the house and went inside. He greeted the house staff and said "Goodbye Tiffany!". When I called last night, the staff member said Cole got to dig in the dirt with tractors and watch his favorite Wiggles movie. He was snuggled in his John Deere blanket and pillow, sleeping soundly.
We love you so much Cole and we miss you already. Enjoy your time at the respite house and thanks for being so brave.
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