Cool stuff going on

Cole has been slowly adjusting to the cooler weather and diminishing daylight. Not that he's fond of these changes, but he seems to be coping as best he can. Fall and Spring are the two most difficult times of the year for Cole. He struggles in the fall to let go of all the wonderful things that summer brings: endless tractor rides, short sleeve shirts, playing outside until 8pm, bike rides, scooter rides and other fun things.

It takes quite a few weeks for Cole to adjust to playing inside longer, putting on a coat and waking up when it's still dark out. The last few mornings, Cole has told me, "Mom go back to bed, it's still dark out". Now only if he said that on the weekends, when he's consistently up and firing on all cylinders at 5:45am. These transitions seem easy and for some people, even anticipated. For Cole, these changes throw him off entirely. It affects his behavior. He's on edge, irritable and doesn't understand when you tell him he can't ride his scooter in the dark. His therapists at MAC work on getting him to wear more than one pair of jeans and long sleeve shirts. Cole is so resistant to these things that he checks his backpack each morning and tells me, "no jeans or long sleeve shirts in backpack Mom." I have to hide them inside when he's not looking or sometimes hand a separate bag to his driver, so she can give it to MAC.

The other hard thing is the first few snowfalls. You know, the kind where it is snowing, but it melts when it hits the ground. That is the worst for Cole. He thinks he's going to get to plow snow with the tractor or at very least, shovel. He's ready to put on his snow suit, put the plow on the tractor and spend two hours moving the snow around. He doesn't understand that the ground is too warm.

Thankfully, over the past 18 months, Cole has learned a lot more age-appropriate play skills. This helps tremendously in the cold weather months. He loves playing the Wii, his Nintendo DS and more recently, he loves my iPhone and the music it can play. Cole has his own special play list. He jams to music of all kinds. Right now he's into Katy Perry, John Mellencamp, Pink and the Gear Daddies. He navigates my phone with ease, puts on his headphones, sings, bops his head and shakes his hands to the beat. He loves music, just like his brother does. Cole will even look up the music videos or concerts on YouTube. He can point out John Mellencamp from other members of the band and find him singing the songs he likes.

Cole continues to take private swim lessons at Foss. He is making so much progress. His instructor, Megan, is amazing with Cole. She's been working with him for almost two years and she knows him well. She understands how to motivate him, how to keep him from acting silly and more importantly, how to teach him to swim. We've tried other instructors and not one has been as great as Megan. Cole was thrilled last week when it was Safety Week at Foss. He got to put on a Foss sweatsuit and practice both swimming in the clothes and jumping off the sides. They walked around the read all of the safety signs. They talked about who Cole can swim with, where he can swim and what to do in an emergency. He loved it!

Cole is SO excited to start hockey. We have him signed up for his second season on the Polar team in the MN Special Hockey league. He is waiting patiently for the middle of November, when he'll skate every Sunday. I took the boys to open skate last Saturday. We met Uncle Sean at the arena. They both loved skating with Uncle Sean. Cole's legs were a little wobbly at first, but he got back into it. I even saw him talking to an older gentleman and giving him a high five. Sean and I both saw it and couldn't help but smile. Cole still loves to skate fast and then fall down. The goal this year is to teach him more about where to shoot the puck and not to fall until after he scores a goal. We'll see how that goes! As much as Cole loves to skate, his favorite part is the zambonie. At open skate, he was asking the rink attendant if the zambonie was going to come out. It made his day when the black and gold machine revved up and made its way onto the ice. Cole waved in excitement and told me the "zambonie was mowing the ice." I guess that's one way to look at it!

I have been looking for some homeschool activities that Cole can participate in while he's in therapy at MAC. We all feel it would be a really great opportunity for Cole. Not only will he get to do some fun activities throughout each week, he'll get the chance to socialize with and model after neuro-typical children. So far, we have him signed up for homeschool gym class at the YMCA, ice skate lessons, a monthly rock climbing group and I'm hoping to add either bowling or gymnastics! We are also waiting to see if there is a spot on the roster of a Special Olympics Floor Hockey team. I should find that out this week. I'm so proud that Cole has progressed to a point where these things are possible. What a gift!

Speaking of progress, we just had Cole's annual assessment with MAC. Each year Cole is tested to see where he falls on the Autism Spectrum. It's a big undertaking. I fill out several questionnaires, Cole is observed and tested, I am interviewed, along with several of his therapists. We had a meeting this week to find out the results. Things went so well. Cole showed so much improvement over last year. He is continually moving toward the mildest area on the Autism scale. He still tests and functions in quite low percentages when compared to kids his age, but I don't give a crap. He's making TONS and TONS of progress and his Autism symptoms are slowly decreasing in intensity and severeness... what more can we ask for? He is talking more fluently, teaching himself to read, understanding simple math and having less aggressive behaviors. More importantly, he is happier and enjoying life. His frustration level is decreasing and he has the skills to play with kids his own age.

MAC has been incredible and a critical part of his progress. His team of therapists are truly vested in Cole. His lead therapist came back from maternity leave last week. She told me at the meeting that while on leave, there was a chance she was not going to be re-assigned to Cole upon her return. She was so bummed out, that she immediately called her husband and then her mom to talk about it. She was devastated. Then a week later, she got her case load and Cole's name was on it. She called the office right away to confirm it and when they told her she would indeed still be working with Cole, she was elated. These are the type of people who work so hard on Cole's behalf. They are highly-educated, driven, passionate, caring and wonderful people. And we are so blessed to have them on our team.

I hope you all enjoy a fun Halloween with your families. This is the first year Cole has showed true excitement for Halloween. For the first time ever, he told me what he wanted to be and helped me find the costume. It came in the mail last week and he was so excited. Cole tried it on right away and stood in front of the mirror, looking at himself, dancing in it and asking if he could wear it every day. It seems so simple, but this is significant for Cole. We know how much work and progress it's taken to get Cole to this point and Pat and I could not help but revel in it.

a few firsts

It's hard to believe it's September. Although it was hard to miss it when, at 5:13am on September 1st, Cole ran into our room and excitedly said, "Mom, it's September!!!". I think he was most excited because to him, September means short-wearing season is done. No more mom sneaking shorts into his backpack for him to wear at therapy throughout the day. Yes, it is that hard to get him into shorts. In fact, I don't think Cole wore shorts one time this summer!!

Now Cole is into one certain pair of jeans. He wants to wear the same pair every single day. I'm not sure why this is? So now I'm sending different style jeans in his backpack for him to wear at therapy. He is so smart, he even tries to look in his backpack before he hops on the van, to make sure there are no shorts or jeans in there. I have a separate bag with the jeans and luckily, the driver makes sure the "extra bag" makes it to MAC. Therapists want us to have Cole wear the jeans if he expresses interest in doing something. In other words, if he wants to play the Wii, he will need to put on different jeans first. We'll start this once he gets back from the respite house.. wish us luck!

We've had a few exciting firsts with Cole over the past few weeks. It's so rewarding for us to witness his progress!!!

The boys were invited to a birthday party last weekend for two twin boys who live across the street. The party was at Pump It Up, one of Cole's favorite places. Pat and I stayed at the party, in case things didn't go well for Cole. I'm glad we were there to see how awesome Cole did! Cole had so much fun. He played for the entire hour in the inflatable area. They turned off the lights, played music and gave the kids glow sticks. Cole thought it was cool. He even liked the "fighting" area, where kids had big inflatable "weapons" to hit and knock one another over. Cole played that with a few boys and laughed the entire time! Pat and I saw Cole (for the first time ever), go up to a child he didn't know. We couldn't hear what Cole said, but after a little bit of conversation, he turned to us and said, "This is my friend, Jack". Cole got a little too close for Jack's comfort level and he walked away from Cole shortly after their conversation. It didn't bother us, or Cole for that matter. We were so proud of Cole for trying to make a new friend. The time came for pizza, cake and presents. Cole found a place to sit amongst the group of kids. He was completely indistinguishable. If it weren't for one of the twins who said, "Cole has Autism", I don't think any of them would have known. Cole ate his pizza, politely asked for another slice and sang Happy Birthday just like the rest of them. He sat patiently for cake and brought his gift up to the boys without being told. He even let Connor run around and didn't need to be by his side the whole time. It was a huge success!!

Later that day, Pat set up the tent in the back yard. We set up a nice fire and torches. The boys brought out their sleeping bags, pillows and lots of blankets. The three of them slept out in the tent and made it until 3:30am, when Connor woke up cold. Cole loved sleeping out in the tent. They snuggled close together and Cole kept telling Pat, "I love you Dad. I love sleeping in the tent.". Cole has been so verbal with his feelings. He is constantly telling us how much he loves us and he's always giving lots of hugs and kisses. We are so thankful to get that from him.

Another first was Hippotherapy. Hippotherapy is Occupational Therapy that takes place on a specially trained horse. It is very expensive ($160/hr) and very hard to get into. I saw a neat program on the news and in July I put Cole on the wait list. It was supposed to be a year long wait, but we lucked out and Cole got a call two weeks ago. It was a mad rush to get all of the logistics worked out, but we succeeded. Cole's waiver program is paying for the majority of it and thankfully, the one time slot that was open happen to fit our schedule perfectly.

He went to his first session on Tuesday. It was incredible. Cole walked in, put on his horse helmet and hopped on Dreamer the horse like he had been doing it for years. Cole was so happy, calm, talkative and cooperative. There are four staffers working with Cole and Dreamer. They walk around for about 5-8 minutes and then stop and do OT-related therapies while on the horse. They taught Cole commands for Dreamer and Cole was soon able to say, "Walk on Dreamer". He would wave to other people watching and ask to go faster. It was so amazing to watch and it makes me excited to see where he'll go from here. This session goes another five weeks. At that time, we'll need to get approval to fund another session. Each session is over $1000, so I'm hoping we can find a way to make it work. (see video below)

Cole also had a ton of fun at Uncle Tim's Labor Day BBQ. Pat, Connor and Cole rode their bikes to Tim's house- something Cole loves to do. It's about a twenty minute ride and the boys love it. Before they could leave, Cole made sure to put three of our Rock Band and Guitar Hero guitars in the truck. He said he wanted to have a "dance party". Fortunately, Tim had everything we needed for this dance party! The BBQ is the perfect excuse to test out the Vikings tailgating set-up. For those of you who haven't seen it, Troy and Tim's set up attracts many people and puts the need for a downtown bar down to shame. Cole did so well. He lasted five hours and behaved really well. It was the first time I can recall where Pat and I didn't have to take constant shifts watching Cole's every move. Cole played with all of his cousins. They played baseball, ran in the woods, rode toy 4-wheelers and rolled down the hill. Tim let Cole drive his lawn tractor and after dinner, he turned on the music. Cole ran and got the guitars and went to town. Cole and the cousins jammed to music. Some of them sang into the mic, a few played guitars and some chose to dance around. I think Cole's favorite was singing Hey Soul Sister and playing guitar to 21 Guns. It was a fun party and we were thrilled to see Cole have so much fun with Connor and his cousins.

Personally I had a rewarding experience with my blog this week. I heard from a mom of an autistic child who reads it. She reached out to me after having a really tough day with her son. We emailed back and forth and traded experiences and insight. She was very complimentary to me and shared how helpful she finds my blog and how much she appreciates my advice. It was nice to help her and feel like someone else benefitted from my past experience. As I told her, we're all in this together.

Summer Fun!

The Cooney Cabin vacation that Cole has been looking forward to for months finally arrived. Early in July, we traveled up to Cabin O Pines in Orr. It was our first visit to COP, and we chose it since my brother, Brendan's, fiance's parents own it (whew, did you follow that?). Oh, and don't worry, I'll get to the fiance part later.

We did our best to prepare Cole for what the new resort would be like, to let him know what days he would be there and who he would ride home with. We had a picture schedule and a social story for him. All in all, it went quite well. He loved COP. There was so much to do. He rode 4-wheelers, went on boat rides, scooter rides and bike rides. He played at the beach, swam out to the raft and even jumped off. At night, he played his Nintendo DS and the Wii. We also took Cole to the nearby Bear Sanctuary. Cole liked it, although his favorite part was riding the school bus from the parking lot to the sanctuary. It was fascinating, as we got to see many wild bears in their natural habitat. At times, the bears were ten feet from the elevated deck we were standing on. Cole also loved going on the boat at night to watch the fireworks. It was so much fun!! We ventured out to the bay with many other boats and watched a fantastic fireworks show. Cole thought it was the coolest thing ever.

There were only a few times when Cole struggled. One day, it was sprinkling on and off. That did not sit well with Cole. He gets REALLY mad when Mother Nature interferes with his to-do list. Cole was a man on a mission and the rain did not fit into his plans. He got quite mad and acted out aggressively & vocally, off and on throughout the day. Luckily the rain didn't last too long and Cole's spirits lifted. The other time he got upset was on Monday night. Cole knew he was leaving on Wednesday and for some reason on Monday he thought it was Tuesday. He got very sad and kept saying, "Cole doesn't want to leave. I'm staying at the cabin. I'm not going home with Daddy." After a while, Cole finally said, "I don't want to leave tomorrow." Only then did I realize he had his days mixed up. I instantly told him that tomorrow was only Tuesday and his attitude turned on a dime. He lit up, as happy as could be, and said, 'I'm not leaving tomorrow. I get to stay!!".

Tuesday turned out the be an awesome day at COP. My brother, Brendan, proposed to his girlfriend, Brittany. It was so fun to be a part of the celebration and share the experience with both of our families. Brendan proposed out on the boat in the evening. The guys were out fishing, so us ladies were the first to hear the news- with the exception of Brittany's parents, who Brendan talked to ahead of time. It was fun explaining to Cole that Brittany was now officially his Aunt and that she and Brendan would be getting married. After the men came in from fishing, Brittany's parents and a few close family friends from the resort joined us in our cabin for some celebratory champagne. We could not be happier for the two of them and we are really excited to see Brendan joining such an amazing family. We look forward to the wedding on August 27th of next year.

Wednesday afternoon came and Cole helped Pat pack up the boat. After another fun day in the sun and on the trails, Cole was ready to leave and didn't resist when it came time to pack up and leave. He cooperated really well, said his goodbyes and had a fun time playing songs from his iTunes playlist the entire ride home. Sean and Pat are saints for listening to about eight songs over and over and over and over.

The weeks following the cabin trip proved to be quite a struggle for Pat and I. Cole's schedule was really thrown off, some of our PCAs were on vacation and Cole had several new therapists at MAC. All together, it was a recipe for some challenging behavior. Cole pushed every boundary he could, had some moments of tough physical and vocal aggression and resisted the discipline we have in place for him. Just when we start to question why we bothered going on vacation and putting ourselves through the aftermath, Cole started to improve. He got back into routine and realized that just because he was stretching his boundaries didn't mean he would get away with it.

One of these tough times came at the Aquatennial Fireworks. Cole has gone to the fireworks with Grandma and Grandpa Cooney for the past few years. He loves the show and behaves really well. This year, the fireworks show was on the day he got home from the respite house. Pat took the opportunity to go fishing. I decided I would join everyone else at the fireworks. Cole was very excited. We took two cars and he happily rode with Grandpa. We walked to the area where he's watched the show in years past. It was about ten minutes before the show was to start and Cole asked when he would see dad. I told him, "Dad is fishing, you'll see him later tonight." From that point on, Cole wanted to leave. He asked countless times and we all did our best to distract him and tell him it would only be a few more minutes until the fireworks. It wasn't good enough for Cole and his patience ran out. Suddenly, in front of hundreds of people, he started screaming, kicking me, punching me, scratching me, biting himself, etc. It was terrible. I take that back, it was beyond terrible. I had no choice but to leave; for Cole's safety and my own. So I told Connor we had to leave and off we went. My Dad followed us to the car; with Cole still upset and causing a scene. I felt really bad for Connor, even though he left without one ounce of pouting or complaining. It broke my heart to take him from the fireworks. Thankfully, my Dad stayed about 10 feet behind with Connor and I was able to get Cole in the car and leave without him wanting Connor. Connor got the watch the rest of the show and spend the night at Brendan and Brittany's house. We got in the car and Cole was instantly a brand new kid; happy as can be, singing Black Eyed Peas and playing his DS. Me, well... I can't say I felt the same. It was one of those times when I wanted to scream, "AUTISM SUCKS".

Thankfully we've had a really good few weeks with Cole. He's been into taking long bike rides to see his aunt and uncles. He's gone to the beach and on many fun boat rides. This weekend we are taking him to Bunker Beach and next week we head to the water park hotel in Otsego. I'm sure many of you saw the video of Cole singing with Tim Mahoney at the MAC fundraiser picnic. Again, he surprised us all and went right up the microphone and started singing with the band. He bopped along and sang background vocals. It was priceless and one of those times that make the difficult days disappear from memory. We are blessed that Cole gives us many of those moments. It makes it much easier to stay focused on the positive, where our energy belongs.

Enjoy the rest of your summer everyone!

A great start to the summer!

You can tell it's summer by the fact that it's been nearly 2 months since I've posted last! It's been a pleasant spring and summer. I hope you've all been able to enjoy it to it's fullest.

Cole's summer is off to a great start. The highlight so far was the trip we took to the Noble Family Farm in Austin, MN. We were so thankful to be invited to the farm from our close friend, Jason and his family. Running a farm would be Cole's dream job and to say he saw a slice of heaven in Austin is an understatement.

The ride down was a little hairy. It was only a 2 hour drive, but Cole's excitement got the best of him. Well that, and the rain. He struggled in the truck and screamed for it to stop raining. He would ask, "where is the farm?" We would reply, "we'll be there in 40 minutes." Cole would reply, "No, 4 minutes." I wish it were that easy. We made it and Cole was SO excited once we got there. The rain let up a little and he was amazed at the farm. We played for a while, riding the tractors, mowing the lawn, buzzing around on the go kart and checking things out. Then it started to rain. Luckily we were planning on staying at a hotel with a pool. We loaded up the kids and headed to town. Cole was equally as excited about the hotel. It was his first time and he thought it was the coolest thing. He kept saying, "We'll sleep HERE tonight." "Connor, I'm going to sleep with Dad, you sleep with Mom." He took it all in and loved snuggling on the "new" bed. Soon Jason and his kids arrived. Everyone swam for a few hours. Cole did awesome. It was loud in the pool area and there were a lot of energetic kids. Cole played it cool and blended right in. After a while we looked up and the sun was shining. So off to the farm we went.

It only got better from there. Cole mowed every blade of grass at the farm. He was in heaven and the constant smile on his face gave me goosebumps. He interacted with the kids and took turns on all of the fun things to do. He got to ride a dirt bike with Pat. It was so fun to see. Cole desperately wanted to drive it by himself, like Breyden, but he settled for Pat's help. Cole even got to ride in an old-fashioned tractor. It worked perfectly and the guys needed to use its scoop for some heavy lifting around the farm. Jason let Cole and the kids come up by him and ride it around the farm. Cole got to ride it a few times and it was just awesome!!

Finally at 10:30 we decided it was time to go back to the hotel. We got ready for bed and all was quiet in the room. All of the sudden, I hear Cole whisper to Pat these exact words, "Dad, thank you for taking me to the farm." It was music to our ears.

We enjoyed breakfast at Perkins the next morning and loaded up our stuff. We headed back to the farm for a few more hours of fun and then Cole was ready to go home. It was a HUGE success. Words can't express how thankful we are to the Noble Family for giving us this wonderful experience. Cole talks about Jason's kids and asks to go back to the farm every single day.

OUR GETAWAY

Last year we started an annual tradition of taking Connor on a fishing trip up north. While Cole was at the respite house this year, Pat and I took Connor to Ely and Biwabik. We had a fantastic time. Connor caught his first walleye! He thoroughly enjoyed his one-on-one time with us. We played games, fished, swam, ate, explored, snuggled, hiked and did so many fun things. We even got to tour the Soudon Ore Mine. It was fascinating. After a 3 minute steel elevator ride down 1/2 mile+ into the ground, we learned so much of what it was like to be a miner and how they went about mining the ore. Connor loved the experience and took it all in. He loves learning about things like that and takes in all the details, just like Pat does. They are so similar in that way. Pat is full of tid bits of information about a wide array of things and I can tell Connor is going to be the same way. It was hard to see the time come to an end, but we have next year to look forward to. It's so important for Pat and I to give Connor time all his own. He makes so many concessions and there are numerous things we can't take part in as a family. We try hard to give him unique experiences and our un-divided attention. He deserves it.

MIRACLE LEAGUE and PLAY NET

Cole took part in Miracle League baseball this year. It was another successful season. He enjoyed playing on Thursday nights and met a lot of new friends. This year was the first time he didn't hit off the tee. We were so proud of him. He was especially excited to have Connor's help in the field on the last night. He is so proud of his brother and loves him so much. I love seeing these kids play baseball, no matter what impairments they might have. The league brings priceless joy to these kids and we wouldn't miss it.

Cole is also taking part in a play in the park summer "camp". He goes every Monday and Wednesday for 2-1/2 hours. Staff from MAC meet him there and work with him on his social skills and other objectives of his programming. Cole has done wonderfully. He walks up to the staff and says, "Hi, my name is Cole" when it's time to check in. I don't stay and watch, but MAC staff have said he needs minimal assistance to learn the games and blends in very well with the

neuro-typical kids. Pretty soon we are going to let him bring Connor as his guest. That should be fun!

TUBING, TUBING, TUBING!!!

Cole absolutely loves our new boat. Pat has taken him out countless times. Cole has learned how to turn on both motors, hook things up and steer the trolling motor. He even helps Pat back the boat in by copying me as I tell Pat how many feet he has left in the garage. We've also been able to take the boys tubing a few times. The first time we went with Brendan and Brittany. We had a blast. Just yesterday we took Cole's cousins, Brady and Cooper, on the boat. Cole was really excited! The three boys tubed for a long time, laughing and bouncing about. After that, we took them to the sandy lake shore and played in the water for a while. Cole loves to go fast and smiles constantly. The faster, the better for this first mate.

HARLEY RIDE

This past week, Cole took his first ride of the summer on Grandpa Denny's Harley. Right after he got his helmet, he ran to Grandpa and said, "Grandpa I'm scared." I think he was more excited than anything. Grandpa took him around the block and back to the house. That wasn't enough for Cole, he wanted a longer ride. So off they went, two peas in a pod. Cole loved the motorcycle and wanted to go faster than Grandpa would allow. It's fun to see Cole experiencing such fun things. He lives life to the fullest, that's for sure.

THURSDAY, JULY 1st

This day will be bittersweet for our family. It marks the six year anniversary of Cole's Autism diagnosis. When I think about it, the only sad thing about it is looking back to that particular day and how profoundly sad, scared and alone we felt. Our family has come a long way since then and we have so much to be proud of.

That night will be special for Cole. It will be his first experience at the new Target Field. A former co-worker of mine generously donated four tickets to our family. Cole is super-excited! He woke up this morning and said, "Mom, Thursday is July. I'll go to the city." He also says he's going to have a "fancy dinner in the city". I'm not sure how pizza and ice cream at the ball park qualify, but we'll take it. We are looking forward to this momentous occasion and hope it turns out to be a rewarding reflection on just how far Cole has come.

May is for Mother's Day!

Wow, it's May already. Although the weather we've been having makes it feel like it's May, in reality, it just doesn't seem possible. Connor told me this week he only has five weeks left of school. There is no way my baby can be almost done with 1st grade. I saw an old friend this week and he asked if Pat still had his job selling highway advertising signs. I can barely remember when he worked there. It was nearly ten years ago when I was pregnant with Cole... that makes me realize just how fast time is passing by. In a few short months, it will be six years since Cole's Autism diagnosis. So much in our lives has happened, so much has changed, goals are becoming reality, visions of the future are suddenly the present.

I always wanted to be a mom. I knew I would love it. And it is by far the most rewarding, enjoyable and important job I've ever had. Connor made my day this week when he told my Mom that I do such a good job because I've had "lots of mommy training classes". It will be fun when Connor realizes years from now that children don't come with any kind of handbook. His comment got me thinking about how and why I parent the way I do. It was easy. I've had an incredible "mommy trainer". My mom did an outstanding job raising her children. She worked outside the home, always had dinner for us (even if she wasn't going to be home), our home was clean, she seldom missed any of our sporting events and even though she was crazy busy, it felt to me like she was a stay at home mom. She was full of good advice and loved each of us four kids unconditionally. Even now, I can count on her no matter what. Most of the time, she offers her help before the words come out of my mouth. She understands and praises the hard work I'm doing as a mom and tells me I'm doing a good job. I feel like she loves my children as they were her own and she's always listens to the countless "proud mommy stories" I share with her. I'm so fortunate to have such a wonderful mother and "mommy trainer".

Cheers and Happy Mother's Day to all of the wonderful moms out there, who wake up each day and give all they have to make the lives of their children as pleasant and love-filled as they possibly can.

Now for an update on one of my scariest mommy moments. As many of you know, Connor broke his arm in two places on Easter morning. He had surgery on it almost two weeks ago. The doctor made an incision and placed two pins to hold the bone in place. Connor got his permanent cast on Monday and the xray showed everything is healing well. We go back a week from Monday to possibly get the cast off and pins removed. Connor has been wonderful throughout the ordeal and hasn't complained one bit. He's very excited to get back to gymnastics and join his baseball team. As you can imagine, Connor has managed to have a lot of fun regardless. There isn't much that slows him down.

We had friends in town last weekend from Sioux Falls, SD. Our friends came to visit with their two children. We prepared Cole as well as we could, but we just didn't know what to expect. The last time they were here (about 3-4 years ago), Cole got so worked up we had to call my parents and bring him there for the remainder of the weekend. This time, we did have a back up plan in case things didn't go well, but we didn't need it! Cole loved having our friends here. He talked with all of them and played with the kids throughout the weekend. The kids even put on a mini-Prom in the basement. Cole loved watching Pat and I dance in the basement and had a blast playing Rock Band with everyone afterward. Everything went so smooth and Cole was happy the entire time. You'll see the pictures I posted and how happy Cole was. The best part came when Jim said goodbye to Cole. Cole looked at him and said (without prompting), "You can come back any time". We were so proud of him. Cole has been talking about the Rysavy's every day. He wanted them to come back this weekend. It's a good thing they are coming in July so he has that to look forward to!

Cole has been doing a lot of testing with our school district. He is being evaluated by a team of specialists to determine where the best fit is for him. The past three testing sessions have gone so well. All evaluators said he worked very hard and stayed on task. In talking with them, it seems Cole cooperated very well and they were able to get the information they needed. The only glitch we had was last Thursday. I was about to take Cole up to McKinley for testing, when Cole heard the garbage truck. He LOVES the garbage truck and seldom gets to see it. I tried to get Cole to leave, but I just couldn't make him get in the truck. He was so excited to see the garbage man and I wasn't going to burst his bubble. I called the school to let them know we would be late and we waited for a half hour until the garbage man made it through the entire neighborhood and finally arrived at our house. Cole jumped up and down and waved in excitement. It was well worth it.

He is making progress every day. His speech is blossoming and his behavior is very manageable. Pat was in Toronto last week for work and I can honestly say it did not give me one ounce of stress. It has taken A LOT of time and hard work to get to this point, but we are here and it feels wonderful. What a wonderful mommy moment. Then again, I have many wonderful mommy moments. And I look forward to countless more.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!!!!

Lots going on!!!!

It's been a crazy few weeks for the Schusted household! I'll start back almost a month ago...

Pat and I enjoyed a wonderful time in Ixtapa. It was our sixth time there and we were fortunate to have my parents and six neighbor friends there with us for three of the seven days. Once again, Pat got to deep sea fish with my Dad and Santos. They had a successful day on the water and both caught a lot of fish. We had a fun time at the Emporio Pool with our neighbor friends. We are all so busy with our families, that it was nice to get quality time together. We spent the last four days of our vacation lounging around by the pool, taking in loads of sunshine and relaxing. The weather was perfect the entire week and we had countless delicious meals, as usual.

The boys did quite well while we were gone. Cole came to pick us up at the airport with Grandpa Denny. He was so excited. Once he saw us and we left the airport, all of his emotions from the past week came rushing out. He cried, got angry and wanted "The Penguin Game". Cole was really out of sorts and it was pretty hard on us. We stopped at Target to look for the game; not having any idea what it was, a board game, a Nintendo game, a book, a movie?!? Even with the help of a Target employee, we could not locate the game. Cole was really mad. Pat had to carry him out of the store kicking and screaming. Luckily, once we picked up Connor and stopped to get ice cream, Cole settled down and life returned to normal. We've come to expect this from Cole. He does an amazing job while we're gone, but when we get home, he wants us to know it was not easy for him.

Pat was able to search around the internet and find The Penguin Game. We ordered it from Amazon and had it delivered the next day, to Cole's surprise. He was thrilled and thankfully, the episode on the way home from the airport was all the rough behavior he had after we got home.

We came home to incredible spring weather. As you all know, Mother Nature has blessed us this spring. Cole has been able to spend a lot of time outside, doing the things he loves most: riding the tractor, using the tiller, raking, riding his bike, etc. We've had so much fun with him and his mood has been really upbeat.

The thing Cole has been most excited about is our new boat. We traded in the 16' Alumacraft in March and got a 20' Crestliner. Cole has been sitting in it while it has been parked in our garage. He's claimed his spot in the passenger side comfy captains chair. He loves to open and close the windshield and look in all the compartments. When he saw the motor, he told Pat, "Daddy the motor is HUGE!". As soon as the ice went out on Coon Lake we were there. Cole was beyond excited. He was moving his hands and the smile on his face went from ear to ear. I let him sit in the big chair and he loved it. We went really fast and he couldn't get enough of it. Needless to say, we've been out on the boat at least four times since, in fact, he and Pat are taking Tim, Max and Zack on a ride as I write this! We are so glad to have this boat. We spent a lot of time boating and letting the boys swim at the lake. Our old boat didn't have enough room for us to move around and now we have plenty of space and a big motor to push us around the lake. Soon it will be time for tube rides!

Shortly after we got back from vacation, Cole went to his cousin Max's birthday party. It was at Pump It Up with about 15 other kids. We were not sure how Cole would react to this, but we tried it anyway. It went so well. We got there after Cole's swim lesson, so we missed some of the play time. At first, Cole was unhappy about this, but we asked the staff to open the play area and Cole was able to spend some time jumping around. Soon he joined the big group for cake and the birthday song. It was so fun to see him get excited and mingling with the kids. He sat amongst them like any other child and sang the birthday song. A few years ago we would not have attempted this, so to see it be successful was a proud moment for us.

On Easter morning, the bunny threw us a curve ball. Connor fell off a plastic table as he was getting off our trampoline. He broke two bones in his arm. It took me a few minutes to realize what happened and when it did, chaos broke loose. Pat had to run to get Cole and I immediately packed up Connor and brought him to the ER. My Dad met me there and stayed until Pat arrived. Poor Connor did a number on his arm. He broke both the radius and ulna and he broke them bad. He was put under at the ER so the doctor could reset his bones. He was SO brave. We went to the specialist on Monday and his initial thought was that even though the bone was attached "by a thread", it would heal together and be strong enough for a full recovery. He left Connor in a splint/temporary cast for a week and had us come back in this Monday. Connor and I went in and they put a permanent cast on. After that, they did another xray and determined the bones were not lining up properly.

Unfortunately Connor would need surgery the following day. So yesterday we took him to Mercy Hospital for surgery. Dr Pittman put made an incision and put two pins into Connor's bone to hold them in place. Connor did really well. He was scared and crying when he woke up from the surgery, but slowly the medications wore off and he was more like his old self. He has been taking pain medication and slowly things are getting better. We go back to see Dr Pittman on Monday and hope things still look good. If all looks good on Monday, the plan is to put the permanent cast on the following week. It has been an eventful 10 days for our family. Luckily Cole was at the respite house from Sat - Wed, so we were able to care for Connor without any interruptions. It's funny how things work out sometimes.

There is so much more I could write about and I wish I wasn't so far behind on my blog. Sometimes life just gets in the way. I did get an email this week from a woman I've never met. She has been following my blog and asked for insight on a few things regarding her Autistic son. It was so nice to hear from her and more importantly to share our experience and hopefully have a positive impact on their journey.

HAPPY SPRING EVERYONE!

My little daredevil

Cole had quite an exciting Wednesday last week. The morning started off with a visit to the dentist. Part of me can't believe I'm actually typing this, but Cole had been looking forward to this appointment for months.

For those who don't know, the dentist and dental hygiene have been one of our most challenging things with Cole. It is hard to put the intensity of his dental fear into words. We have tried medications, picture schedules, Velcroe body jackets, books, etc. to get Cole comfortable with the dentist. It got so bad that we couldn't drive down the road that lead to our former dentist and the last time we got Cole into the building, he was so full of anxiety that he smashed his head into the inner brick walls of the building. We lost all hope until we got the recommendation of Dr King.

Dr King is a wonder-worker. Actually, the bulk of the credit should go to his amazing hygienist, Marlene. Wednesday was our third visit with Dr King. The first time, Cole went to the office and just looked around. He took a ride in the chair and that was it. At that time, the decision was made to put Cole under general anesthetic to clean his teeth and do any necessary work. The second time we visited Dr King's office, Cole got to perform a teeth cleaning on a teddy bear. He loved it and even sat in the chair himself. He let Marlene count his teeth and "polish" his two front teeth with her special tool. Dr King also got a quick exam in.

This time around, Cole was super excited. He could not wait to work on the bear and turn up the music in Marlene's special room. When it was Cole's turn, he sat right down and Marlene went to work. He let her clean, polish and floss all of his teeth. We had to take a few breaks, but he made it. When Dr King came in, he let him examine his teeth. The only time Cole had anxiety was when it was time to paint his teeth with fluoride. He didn't like it at all and we had to restrain him slightly. It stressed him out, but in the end he survived and had white shiny teeth to prove it! When I think back to our troubles related to this, I'm amazed at the tolerance and progress Cole has shown. The true test will be in September when he knows what he's in for. He's already told me, "only bear in September, not Cole". Something tells me he will do just fine.

That night, we rewarded Cole by taking him to Nick Universe at the Mall of America. Cole was beyond excited and so happy to have his family there with him. He, Pat and Connor went on almost every ride. It was so much fun to see Cole leading us around the park. He knew where everything was; from the Gatorade machine to the ferris wheel entrance and the mini golf course to Dairy Queen. It was like we had our own tour guide. The boys had a great time and I was amazed at how much they loved the "crazy" rides!! We would take Cole there a lot if it weren't so darn expensive- although it's worth it to see the grin on his face.

Tonight we told Cole about our upcoming vacation. Pat and I will be leaving Thursday for Ixtapa. It will be our 6th year in a row. We are incredibly blessed to have wonderful family members who help with the boys while we are gone. They understand how important this break is for us and just how much we need a reprieve from our often hectic home life. Cole was quite sad when he glanced at his picture schedule. He crumpled it up and said, "Mommy and Daddy aren't going on vacation. They are not going on a plane." Tears came to his eyes and he was truly sad. Slowly, as the night wore on and after slamming a few doors, Cole came to grips with the situation and appears to be ok. As much as he adores his grandparents, this coming week will be hard for him. He'll miss us as much as we miss him. Keep him in your prayers.

SURPRISE!!!!

We have had so much fun with Cole over the past few weeks. He's been in a great mood and now that we've gotten over the hump with the increased difficulty of his stand up, sit downs, things have been going well with him. He is talking in more complete sentences and keeps surprising us with his progress. He shows us so much love and affection. We know he adores us and his brother, Connor. The two boys are the perfect match for one another. Cole has such strong admiration for Connor. He looks up to him and wants to be a lot like him. Connor is truly amazing with Cole. I wish there is a way I could give him the credit he deserves. Connor is mature far beyond his years and the intuition, empathy and compassion he shows for Cole inspire me. It's so wonderful to see Connor enjoy Cole's increased play skills. There are so many more age-appropriate activities they play together. They are great pals and have so much fun playing the Wii, sledding, playing games, wrestling, skating and doing homework together. The other day Connor said to me as the boys were playing at the table, "Mom, I just love Cole's smile. See, there it is again." I mean seriously, how many brothers say that about one another. And this happens nearly every day with Connor. He has the most positive, supportive attitude when it comes to Cole and his Autism. It's amazing... he's amazing.

Cole turned nine on February 28th. I can't believe I have a nine-year-old. It seems like just yesterday when we were putting together his nursery and here he is wearing size 10 jeans and weighing over 70 pounds. Our journey with Cole hasn't been exactly what we signed up for. Someone said to me this past week, "it's like planning a trip to Italy but when you land, you are in Russia." It's still a wonderful trip, but it's not what you planned. In our case, we did spend close to 3 years in Italy and then one day, our tour guide said, "You thought you were in Rome? You guys have been in Moscow for three years. Does that explain why some things haven't made sense?"

We hosted a surprise party for Cole on Saturday. He had absolutely no idea. It was the day before his actual birthday, so he wasn't expecting a party that day, nor had he asked about one. We had all of our immediate family over and waited anxiously for his PCA, Alli, to drop him off. We crowded into the living room, hidden from sight. Everyone, even seven little kids, kept very quiet as Cole came home. He walked up the stairs and everyone yelled, "SURPRISE!!!!". Cole's reaction was priceless. He covered his ears and looked very shy and excited at the same time. He kept saying, "Wow... wow. It's a surprise party for me!" He took time to process what was going on. Cole would walk into his room and talk to himself about what was happening and then he would come out and show his excitement to the crowd. This process took about five minutes. He had so much fun and was so proud to turn nine.

We also had a lot of fun at hockey this week. Cole had practice on Sunday. He was so happy to have Connor skating with him. Connor did an outstanding job leading Cole through practice and the drills. It brought us so much joy to see them skating together. Cole is so athletically gifted and to see him skate so well after 6-7 times on the ice is impressive. Sadly the hockey season comes to an end next week. I'm in the process of signing him up for Special Olympics. I just need to decide which of the spring sports suits him best. In a few months, he'll also start Miracle League baseball and just this past weekend, the boys started an adaptive bowling league together as well. You can check out a neat video of Cole and Connor skating together at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-B2_Nfz1T0

We are looking forward to this weekend. Cole will have his first "friend birthday party". We invited 10 kids to come celebrate at the bowling alley with Cole. I can't wait to see his reaction and to see the joy on his face. He might not have a lot of friends, but the ones he does have are kids he cares for very deeply. We are blessed to have some very special cousins and friends in Cole's life.

Life is full of surprises. Whether you land in Germany when you thought you were headed for Peru or if a crowd of adoring people shout "surprise" to you, embrace life and all the unexpected blessings. We have been on quite a detour for the past six years and there have been countless things to be thankful for along the way. And yes, we'll get to Italy some day but for now Russia is where we need to be.

Look what I can do!

As the mom of a special needs child, I often need to remind myself of that reality. I see Cole as the little boy I adore and often look past his numerous challenges. I have to stop and tell myself that Cole has special needs. Yes, we live it every single day but at the end of the day, Cole is our son and the only thing that matters is our deep love for him.

I do admit, however, there are times when I assume there are things he can not do. And most often, Cole is able to prove me wrong. I try to "let out the rope" and give Cole the independence and opportunity to do the things boys his age do. Many times I find myself overly cautious and concerned for his safely and well-being.

A few years ago, an old school friend suggested we have Cole play in the special hockey league at Schwan's Super Rink. I quickly dismissed it. I couldn't imagine Cole learning to skate, let alone wearing the necessary equipment. Last year, Connor got skates for Christmas and began skating himself. Cole took interest to it and this year, we decided to give it a try. So every Sunday at 4:20, our family heads off to the Super Rink for MN Special Hockey. It has been the best experience. Cole LOVES putting on the pads and equipment. He has his own jersey (#19) and he loves going to see Coach Chris and his hockey friends. One week there is practice and the next is a game. It is so fun to see Cole skate around the rink. He skates really well and loves to go fast and slide on the ice. He's also known to shoot on his own goalie... oh well! It's so nice to have a safe environment for Cole and young adults with disabilities. Cole loves that we are there for him and he's made us very aware of that. It really made me stop and think. He wants affirmation and a sense of belonging just like we do. And it's our job to provide that for him.

Cole is also learning some age-appropriate play skills. He's been playing his favorite game, Guess Who, with us. It's a game where he has to ask questions about our secret person to determine who our person is. He does an amazing job asking questions correctly and asking questions that allow him to use his deductive reasoning. He has beat me fair and square countless times. It's fun because Connor loves to play as well.

We also had a close friend give a used Nintendo DS to Cole. He was so excited and with a little help from Connor, he figured out how to use it and now plays Mario Kart on the DS. It will be so nice to bring with us when we are out and about. The other day we brought Cole to Connor's hockey game. Cole got a little antsy, so we let him play the DS. It was nice to have something fun for him to do while watching the game. It also helps him sit still (and safe) in the truck. Thanks so much Mel!!!!

He's also mastered Mario Kart on the Wii. With the help of MAC and Connor, Cole has learned how to play Wii games and now gets 1st or 2nd place in nearly every race he's in. The boys enjoy playing together and it's so nice to have an activity for him that other kids his age are playing. And it's wonderful to have something fun to do inside during these cold winter months!

We are working on plans for Cole next school year. Right now, we are thinking he will attend McKinley (his home school where Connor goes) starting in September. He'll go there in the morning and then head to MAC for the remainder of the afternoon. Cole is SO excited to go to school where Connor, his cousin and friends go. Cole has never been in a main-stream school, so I think the part-time transition will suit him well. I'm starting the process of many, many meetings to get things underway. Lots of meetings, assessments, paperwork, more meetings and other important things. Managing Cole's care is a tremendous amount of work, but I get so much joy from seeing things fall into place for him.

Cole is really looking forward to his upcoming birthday. He will turn NINE on February 28th. We are so excited for him. He loves birthdays and surprises. We are planning a family surprise party for him and I'm in the midst of planning his first-ever friend party. I can't wait for that!

Speaking of birthdays, I just celebrated mine this past weekend. I'm so fortunate for all of the people who came out to celebrate with me. We had so much fun at Tanners and POVs. I shared a picture taken at Tanners with a few of my high school friends. It was such a fun night and made turning thirty-something a little easier.

Thanks for taking the time to read my blog. I even get requests and questions as to when I'm going to post another entry. I love to hear those comments. It's hard to know if people read this and to get feedback is very reassuring. Cole is so fortunate to have so many people on his team. We all have a part in helping him and it's paying off in a big way... after all, look what he can do!!!

Countless blessings

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season. If you're anything like me, you love it while it's here but are just as happy to see it go. I like to get back into routine and reflect on the many blessings of the past year.

I'm most thankful for is being able to stay home with my kids. Yes, they are both at school during the day, but managing Cole's care is a full-time job alone. I love getting the kids ready, seeing them off to school and working productively throughout the day until my loved ones get home. It's something I have longed for since Cole was born and I'm extremely grateful for the past 18 months. I haven't take one hour of it for granted.

December brought a lot of fun to our house. As you know, there was a lot of snow over Christmas and Cole was in heaven. The boys and Pat spent countless hours plowing, shoveling, sledding and playing in the snow. Pat put the plow on our yard tractor so Cole could plow the snow. Pat would hop on his 4-wheeler and Cole on the "Husky". I'm not sure who was having more fun! Cole plowed our driveway (and the street) like a pro. During one snowfall, he was outside while Pat was working in the garage. Pat called me out to look at how perfect Cole had plowed the driveway. He had to turn the direction of the plow and everything. Pretty amazing!! I think I see a business possibility in Cole's future.

Christmas went pretty well for us. The snow saved us to some extent. Cole had an outlet for those times when being inside was too much for him. He loved opening presents and tore them open as fast as he could. He got a new John Deere backpack that quickly replaced his old one and many other fun things. Cole understood Santa and was super excited to see he left lots of presents by the fireplace. He had a great time visiting Santa a few days before Christmas. He sat by him, rang bells and talked to him about Christmas. It sure made us proud.

One great thing for Cole was learning to ice skate!!! His Aunt Katie took him to the Depot downtown where Cole skated for the first time. Not surprisingly, he picked it up with ease. After all, this is the boy who taught himself how to ride a bike without training wheels at age three. Cole and Katie skated for more than two hours and Grandma Eileen said she has never seen Cole smile so big. Just this week we signed Cole up for MN Special Hockey; a league for children with disabilities. He'll start next weekend and we can't wait for that.

We are seeing a new challenge with Cole. It goes without saying that he adores his brother, Connor. Now Cole wants to be doing everything Connor does. And he wants Connor to do whatever he wants to do. There are a lot of things they love to do together: play the Wii, wrestle, sing, play Candyland, Lincoln Logs and go outside. But there are many times when Connor doesn't want to do what Cole wants him to do, or furthermore, it might not be possible. Connor has his own life, places to go and friends to play with. Cole doesn't understand that concept and it's bringing on some very challenging situations for our family. I've talked to Cole's therapist at MAC and she is brainstorming ways we can work through this.

All in all, it's been a good winter and we're having a wonderful time seeing our kids enjoy it. It brings back memories of jumping off my roof into the snowbank with my siblings and skating in our backyard ice rink. It's so fun to be a kid and there isn't anything more rewarding than creating memories for your own children.. what a blessing.

Check out these videos. One is of Cole skating and the other is from the our visit to Santa.